[In a literal, "this is temporarily but hardcore fucking with your wiring" way. Maera can't blame Mallory for that; he just shakes his head and reaches out to mirror the gesture, his own hand gripping at Mallory's bicep and then sliding down and lingering there. Apologetic, even if he's not coming out and apologizing.]
I was wondering about that back at the sports festival. Honestly, it didn't occur to me right away. I thought maybe you'd been holding back some sexual tension for a while.
[Maera can't seriously believe he'd go around dealing with sexual tension by licking people! Not when his preferred method is to keep quiet about it and distance himself.]
You know... If you asked me back then, I don't know if I would have said I had the hots for you at all. It's not like I'm turned on by my own reflection. But here we are now...
[He lifts Maera's arm to bring it to his lips, placing a gentle kiss to his inner forearm, just to see. He holds it there and peers over it at the boxer-boxer.]
Or else it is the dog thing and I can't tell when something is my reflection after all.
If that means you're gonna change back once that wears off, warn me now. A guy can only take so much heartbreak.
[Even in the dark, though, the grin in his voice is pretty clear. There's just something about the kiss to his arm, the same way there'd just been something about touching the scar on his chest; it's all intimate in a way that maybe they can only be with one another. Alien and familiar at the same time. Maera doesn't feel the anxiety he might feel at anyone else touching his left arm like that.
Still, when he lifts the stump as if he might touch Mallory with it himself, he hesitates all the same. Still relaxed, still smiling, but he needs to work up to it.]
I get it. Doubt you're surprised I feel the same way. Maybe it's more like how I feel about Peony. I wouldn't have ever said I had the hots for her either.
Straight guys make stupid cracks all the time about how there's always that one celebrity they'd make an exception for. Peony is ours, but even more valid because we give a shit about her.
[HUFF. That's all that needs to be said about that! Man, who even cares about justifying whatever it is they have going. They're not in a world where people care so much about what is and isn't 'proper' anymore and he's glad for it. If he wants to realize he's in love with both of his best friends, so be it. If he wants to decide he's in love with himself, so be it!
He almost wants to laugh a little at the thought. He tilts his head, angling it towards the stump but not forcing the distance closed just yet.]
So, whatever. I'm broken just the same way you are.
[Weird wiring and disfigurements and all.]
But... I don't plan to break your heart any worse than it is now.
Remind me to get on your ass sometime about how much you call us "broken." Not that I can say you're entirely wrong.
[Of course, if he didn't buy into that some himself, he'd throw a fit about it right here and now, not push it off to some future conversation. It's a hard argument to make, taking the side of any of the five of them not being at least a little shattered.
Maera sighs, and touches the stump to Mallory's cheek, feeling a sickening leap of anxiety in his stomach. Fucking stupid . . . it's not like Mallory doesn't have one of his own. It's not like he wasn't inviting this touch just a second ago!]
My heart's been worse than this. As a matter of fact, I can't remember a time it's been better than this.
...Not that I'm not glad to hear it, but still, I'm not gonna bother trying to have a Moment with you if you're just going to argue with me.
[It might be just a little bit embarrassing! If anyone should know he's no good at this, it should be Maera! ...Whatever. Actions over words, then. He keeps his hand to Maera's arm to hold it close, turning his cheek to kiss the very end of it.
He gets it. Of fucking course he gets it. Mallory's no fan of what he's missing, either. But nobody else will ever appreciate just what these scars mean like the two of them do. Just how deep their love and devotion goes. Anybody capable of that... can't be a complete waste, right?]
That's why I said remind me. I don't wanna argue right now. . . . I've got other things on my mind.
[Which sounds like a come-on, he knows. At least, the words themselves do. There's not much erotic in his tone, though. This moment is one of tenderness, not eroticism—sensuality, maybe, instead of sexuality. At least right now it is. The feelings that little kiss pulls up in Maera's chest run a lot deeper than being turned on by it or something.
It feels like he should have thought of this before now, but it's only now that it occurs to him to grope around for Mallory's stump, too, finding it with his right hand.]
[He'll only be slightly offended if Maera decides to keep it to himself, even though he totally knows they're both that kind of guy. It's not like sharing the same past means they have to share everything here and now, and he gets that, so he doesn't know why the thought of being turned down gets to him like that. It's dumb. Mallory's dumb.
It's amazing how he can have that thought at the exact same moment as the impulse to pull his arm away from Maera's touch out of habit. But he stops himself with nothing more than a strong twitch, leaving his vulnerability to Maera's mercy. It's not like he hasn't held that arm before anyway, but things are different under the water.]
[Once again, it's flirting . . . kind of. He could make it sound salacious and doesn't. Instead he brings Mallory's left arm up to his own lips and kisses the forearm, eyes fluttering closed. All sweet and not much sexual, but . . . it feels important to him.
And it is what's on his mind, even if it comes to no more than this.]
What? The creepy twin mindmeld hasn't kicked in yet. But if it's anything like what I'm thinking, then maybe... "where has this wonderful person been all my life?"
[Barf. Cheesy. He considers following up with something a little more suggestive, but then they'd have to go find a room in the middle of the night somewhere and that all sounds like a lot of work right now. Of course he's curious about how things would go without Peony wedged between them, but right now, this is nice.
...More than nice. It's just a soft touch to his arm but the gesture sends tingles through his entire body. He murmurs a gentle noise of contentment, letting his head droop forward. And then...
...he ruins the moment.]
It's either that or you're thinking about your new amputee fetish.
Maera gives him a look, and then wordlessly just leans in again and . . . bites the stump. Not hard; it's more just a press of his teeth. And not right on the end of it, either. That might be going too far. But it's definitely over the scarring, and he makes a stupid face as he does it.]
[There is no way to hide this grin, so Maera just lets it be obvious. It's not like he was planning on holding on, but what choice does he have now? He keeps his teeth right where they are, tail wagging.]
[At least his hand is free. He brings it right on over to hover in front of Maera's face, fingers poised to flick his nose. He'll do it, don't test him.]
Why don't you put that mouth of yours to some better use?
[That's pretty embarrassing somehow. It's actually not even the first time someone's implied that about him, though it's been a while . . . maybe he's been doing a little too much making up for lost time? Dammit, it's not even like he was in the mood either! And he doesn't like that it bothers him! Stupid!
Maera frowns himself and averts his eyes. Shrug.]
If I'm coming on too strong, just say that! I was just—tch.
[Although, yeah, it's just a little jarring to see a version of himself be that openly flirtatious and suggestive. But this is the him who's actually been freely allowed to be that way for a bit. Mallory's catching up! Slowly! A little!! But for now it's kind of a relief to watch him withdraw like that, as shitty as that is.
Ugh. He's ashamed of that and other things. Two can play the dodging glances game. Look at this grass, it's so fascinating right now.]
Actually, never mind what I did mean. Doesn't matter what it was. I'm just fine with you coming onto me.
[He can watch and learn to train himself to be in the mood on command, stress be damned! ...Oh god, what if that's why Luna-- no, that's not it, don't be stupid.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[In a literal, "this is temporarily but hardcore fucking with your wiring" way. Maera can't blame Mallory for that; he just shakes his head and reaches out to mirror the gesture, his own hand gripping at Mallory's bicep and then sliding down and lingering there. Apologetic, even if he's not coming out and apologizing.]
I was wondering about that back at the sports festival. Honestly, it didn't occur to me right away. I thought maybe you'd been holding back some sexual tension for a while.
[Like Maera hasn't been.]
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[Maera can't seriously believe he'd go around dealing with sexual tension by licking people!
Not when his preferred method is to keep quiet about it and distance himself.]You know... If you asked me back then, I don't know if I would have said I had the hots for you at all. It's not like I'm turned on by my own reflection. But here we are now...
[He lifts Maera's arm to bring it to his lips, placing a gentle kiss to his inner forearm, just to see. He holds it there and peers over it at the boxer-boxer.]
Or else it is the dog thing and I can't tell when something is my reflection after all.
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[Even in the dark, though, the grin in his voice is pretty clear. There's just something about the kiss to his arm, the same way there'd just been something about touching the scar on his chest; it's all intimate in a way that maybe they can only be with one another. Alien and familiar at the same time. Maera doesn't feel the anxiety he might feel at anyone else touching his left arm like that.
Still, when he lifts the stump as if he might touch Mallory with it himself, he hesitates all the same. Still relaxed, still smiling, but he needs to work up to it.]
I get it. Doubt you're surprised I feel the same way. Maybe it's more like how I feel about Peony. I wouldn't have ever said I had the hots for her either.
. . . Maybe I'm just wired weird.
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[HUFF. That's all that needs to be said about that! Man, who even cares about justifying whatever it is they have going. They're not in a world where people care so much about what is and isn't 'proper' anymore and he's glad for it. If he wants to realize he's in love with both of his best friends, so be it. If he wants to decide he's in love with himself, so be it!
He almost wants to laugh a little at the thought. He tilts his head, angling it towards the stump but not forcing the distance closed just yet.]
So, whatever. I'm broken just the same way you are.
[Weird wiring and disfigurements and all.]
But... I don't plan to break your heart any worse than it is now.
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[Of course, if he didn't buy into that some himself, he'd throw a fit about it right here and now, not push it off to some future conversation. It's a hard argument to make, taking the side of any of the five of them not being at least a little shattered.
Maera sighs, and touches the stump to Mallory's cheek, feeling a sickening leap of anxiety in his stomach. Fucking stupid . . . it's not like Mallory doesn't have one of his own. It's not like he wasn't inviting this touch just a second ago!]
My heart's been worse than this. As a matter of fact, I can't remember a time it's been better than this.
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[It might be just a little bit embarrassing! If anyone should know he's no good at this, it should be Maera! ...Whatever. Actions over words, then. He keeps his hand to Maera's arm to hold it close, turning his cheek to kiss the very end of it.
He gets it. Of fucking course he gets it. Mallory's no fan of what he's missing, either. But nobody else will ever appreciate just what these scars mean like the two of them do. Just how deep their love and devotion goes. Anybody capable of that... can't be a complete waste, right?]
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[Which sounds like a come-on, he knows. At least, the words themselves do. There's not much erotic in his tone, though. This moment is one of tenderness, not eroticism—sensuality, maybe, instead of sexuality. At least right now it is. The feelings that little kiss pulls up in Maera's chest run a lot deeper than being turned on by it or something.
It feels like he should have thought of this before now, but it's only now that it occurs to him to grope around for Mallory's stump, too, finding it with his right hand.]
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[He'll only be slightly offended if Maera decides to keep it to himself, even though he totally knows they're both that kind of guy. It's not like sharing the same past means they have to share everything here and now, and he gets that, so he doesn't know why the thought of being turned down gets to him like that. It's dumb. Mallory's dumb.
It's amazing how he can have that thought at the exact same moment as the impulse to pull his arm away from Maera's touch out of habit. But he stops himself with nothing more than a strong twitch, leaving his vulnerability to Maera's mercy. It's not like he hasn't held that arm before anyway, but things are different under the water.]
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[Once again, it's flirting . . . kind of. He could make it sound salacious and doesn't. Instead he brings Mallory's left arm up to his own lips and kisses the forearm, eyes fluttering closed. All sweet and not much sexual, but . . . it feels important to him.
And it is what's on his mind, even if it comes to no more than this.]
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[Barf. Cheesy. He considers following up with something a little more suggestive, but then they'd have to go find a room in the middle of the night somewhere and that all sounds like a lot of work right now. Of course he's curious about how things would go without Peony wedged between them, but right now, this is nice.
...More than nice. It's just a soft touch to his arm but the gesture sends tingles through his entire body. He murmurs a gentle noise of contentment, letting his head droop forward. And then...
...he ruins the moment.]
It's either that or you're thinking about your new amputee fetish.
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Maera gives him a look, and then wordlessly just leans in again and . . . bites the stump. Not hard; it's more just a press of his teeth. And not right on the end of it, either. That might be going too far. But it's definitely over the scarring, and he makes a stupid face as he does it.]
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[He wiggles his arm a little, but it's not a serious struggle.]
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Why don't you put that mouth of yours to some better use?
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What, outside? Didn't think you'd be into that.
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But that's not the point! He just wags his eyebrows, completely stone-faced otherwise, and flicks Maera's nose anyway.]
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Something tells me I didn't find you "in the mood" anyway.
But I'm not saying I'd say no.
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[Maybe not actually doing anything just RIGHT OUT HERE IN THE GRASS, but in general, hell yes.
Still, he frowns a little.]
Maybe I'm the one who's wired weird. By the looks of it, you always seem pretty raring to go. [Horn dog. Is this Peony's influence?!]
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[That's pretty embarrassing somehow. It's actually not even the first time someone's implied that about him, though it's been a while . . . maybe he's been doing a little too much making up for lost time? Dammit, it's not even like he was in the mood either! And he doesn't like that it bothers him! Stupid!
Maera frowns himself and averts his eyes. Shrug.]
If I'm coming on too strong, just say that! I was just—tch.
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[Although, yeah, it's just a little jarring to see a version of himself be that openly flirtatious and suggestive. But this is the him who's actually been freely allowed to be that way for a bit. Mallory's catching up! Slowly! A little!! But for now it's kind of a relief to watch him withdraw like that, as shitty as that is.
Ugh. He's ashamed of that and other things. Two can play the dodging glances game. Look at this grass, it's so fascinating right now.]
Actually, never mind what I did mean. Doesn't matter what it was. I'm just fine with you coming onto me.
[He can watch and learn to train himself to be in the mood on command, stress be damned! ...Oh god, what if that's why Luna-- no, that's not it, don't be stupid.]