[The lighthearted accusation feels nothing, more like a light tickle on his side as he lets out a small chuckle and raised a brow slightly.]
Do you really think I'd be turned over so easily when alcohol is involved?
[Don't answer that, he still recalls the incredible taste of the drinks the Shojo spirits had, practically nothing can compare to that. While the edges of the memory are blurry, Luna has never really forgotten the quiet and content moment they shared as the sun set that day. The way the light angles and accentuate Mallory's strong features though simultaneously make him seem softer than how one would expect someone with an imposing figure. As he puts the memory away and focuses back to the present, his gaze drops towards the man leaning on the tree as his smile unconsciously widens.]
It just seemed like one of the things we missed out on. But now, [He closes his eye,] on a good day, we can make up for lost time.
[Judge him for being sentimental, he's pretty well aware of it.]
[It's hard not to relax even more at Luna's peaceful but radiant smile. If it weren't spring already, Mallory's sure it alone would melt the snow and bring life into the world around him. His heart feels like it's blooming from a dried and withered bud into a vibrant rose, at any rate.
Missed opportunities and lost time, huh...
He always did have that fantasy back in high school, about making a confession beneath the trees like this. He rubs the back of his neck, casually turning his head as far to the side as he can.]
You know...
[...He's tired of running, of hiding, of pushing away. He wasn't lying when he said as much to Peony. She couldn't have been lying either when she said she thought it would be a good idea to just tell Luna, right?
That pleasant, warm feeling in his heart suddenly turns into the more familiar flutters of panic, but he swallows hard. Maybe getting it over with will finally put an end to that. At least the answer will be confirmed for him.]
...I never did get to admit the first time around that I- have feelings for you.
[He's trying to make it sound as casual as possible, but his voice does come out strained at the end, and as soon as he says it he feels his stomach drop. But he can play it off as a joke if there's even a hint of a negative response. It's fine.]
[... Feelings? It doesn't take Luna long to conclude exactly what Mallory means by that, not with where they are now and what kind of significance the cherry blossoms holds. It doesn't really help that there were too many classmates and underclassmen to have attempt to pull him in on days like today to do something similar; the vague memories of love letters, or rejecting any sort of admirer in any way or form the girl chooses to confess to him, it's enough that he graduates high school knowing how to reject those feelings without seeming defamatory of those girls' feelings or at least enough to expect how they react with his words of roundabout honesty.
However, unlike admirers from afar, this is his long time and closest friend. Those words don't come easy to his mind now, and neither does he want them to.
He can't help but wonder where it all started, the touch of curiosity of wanting every piece of fact and information that he could get his hands on, and that curiosity is just at the tip of his tongue. Despite the burning desire to find the exact information, the reveal doesn't seem too surprising if at all and it's evident from the lack of change in Luna's expression. Somehow... it just seemed like it makes sense. Was it based on how Mallory treated him differently than most of their classmates? Had it been because of how Luna was persistent of helping him make his way as the boxing champion? Or had it been something that happened so gradually that it sneaked up on both of them and it seemed natural since? There was always something about their dynamic that seems so intimate and special that it always compelled Luna to extend and remind Mallory how much he values in through lighthearted banter and joking. It always feels warm and comfortable around him, not unlike how he is around Peony.
The pieces fit together perfectly and more telling since going by their most recent arrangement, it only proves him further how much he feels at ease around Mallory and how much the other man is willing to practically bend over his will for him. How sometimes he's willing to physically bend over in their moments of privacy.
Shit. It all makes sense and it's not Mallory's confession that surprises him-- it's the fact Luna has always been aware of it and reciprocate without him realizing it himself. Good work.]
Thank you. [...] I appreciate your feelings.
['I knew, in a way' or 'for how long? doesn't seem like good choices to pick. At least, not now. He isn't lost for words, however it takes him longer to form words and sentences in his mind than usual.]
I really don't know how I deserve your feelings, more so under these cherry blossoms.
[Also crap. What is he going to say to Peony. What is he going to say both of them that he's been technically playing an affair?Dating both of them?He's a harem man?]
[He's bracing himself for some kind of disgust or disbelief or even an accusation of not knowing his place (a sword through the stomach), and he flinches despite himself when Luna's voice picks up.
. . .
The response isn't what he expected, but... he isn't surprised in the least. Mallory swallows and takes a few rapid, shallow breaths, then he lets his head drop with a quiet scoffing noise in the back of his throat.]
...The hell kind of response is that? [Stuffy and formal, even when it comes to this. How very like him. He can't tell if he's smiling, or baring his teeth like a cornered animal.] Damn, you really were popular enough in school to have a scripted rejection ready, huh?
[His confusion is all more apparent as the lines of his frown deepens, while his brows knit together trying to understand Mallory's reaction.]
That wasn't a rejection.
[If that was the case, it would have been easier for him to just pull out some automated response he had come up in the past.]
You must have realize at least somewhat that what we've gone through passed intimacy between friends. [More softly, he adds;] If I really did rejected you, I would have immediately said as much.
[It's not a no, but it's not really entirely a yes either. Three or four simple words to answer back to him, yet it's easier to just string sentences that seem to carry some kind of connotation or hint those words instead.]
Mal's head jerks up suddenly, and he stares at Luna with wide eyes, their bright fuchsia brought out all the more by the flushing in his cheeks.]
So... What...?
[What are you saying, just spit it out, he doesn't want to get his hopes up. Luna's always been his hope, but this kind is just needlessly cruel! Like, yeah, maybe they kinda sorta had sex a few times but even Mal knew he was just being a stand-in for Peony. Having even the gentle touches stop the minute she arrived pretty much confirmed that one for him.
Yeah. A rejection. Not a reciprocation. Just an acceptance to let things be as they are, right? Part of him is relieved, but he can't help but want to take everything back and run anyway. How humiliating...
He clears his throat and turns his head away, spreading his arms in an exaggerated shrug.]
Alright, sure. It's still more formal and diplomatic than it probably goes for other people... I hope you didn't pull this on Peony. Ah, well. Glad that's out of the way.
That accusation throws him off enough that he briefly looks away as he feels his face heating up. The stark contrast of his normal fine complexion to the blush he's now sporting is pretty staggering. So maybe he said something similar to Peony. Maybe. He's exercising his right to be silent about it.]
It wasn't a rejection. I'm not rejecting you and I have no intention to do so. Not with what we are up to this point and not with the fact what we have done.
[It's sort of funny in a pathetic way how he's normally direct yet he finds it hard to just be upfront with this due to some factors, fumbling due to his emotions being one of them.]
[Ha ha, oh wow. It's not like Mal's never had the privilege of seeing Luna get all flustered like this, but it's been such a long time since he's seen him get so worked up in a way that doesn't involve bloodlust. It definitely isn't anger. It's cute, and one side of Mallory's mouth pulls up in a fond smile.]
So you were the one who confessed to her...
[He slips his hand into his pocket once more, staring up at the branches overhead. The breeze feels pretty good on his otherwise hot face right now...]
Do you remember the night after my big fight? You know, that whole victory celebration? [THE ONE HE TRIED TO FUCK OFF FROM?] When I asked you about her... Tch. I want to pretend like I would have said something back then if you said you two weren't an item, but I was pretty chickenshit.
[Risking mortal injury in the ring was one thing, but making his heart vulnerable? Terrifying.]
So I lied about not hiding anything from you, even then... [His brow furrows a little.] But you two were-- are happy together, right? I didn't want to get in the way then and I don't now. I just want to protect and support you. So if you're not rejecting me, great, nothing's gotta change. Don't force yourself to pretend it's anything more than that.
[He listens through what Mallory has to say, quietly and intensely as his sight is completely trained on him. Luna could tell that despite what's being said, it seem like the other man is pulling his last line of defense- he's just not entirely certain that he always knew or only realize this now.
He's not certain of anything, his own mind would argue to him.
However, he's certain that he has enough in him to come up with a rebuttal with ease. A clinical and impersonal rebuttal that can seem to simply be spoken for the sake of winning an argument based on a basic objective, instead arguing and defending his heart through his statements while also trying to save Mallory's in the process.
He's also certain that action speaks more volumes than words could ever possibly hold at times. More especially when silence and certain action cannot be explain by words alone. This is one of the things that, no matter what, remains unwavering and firm even when Luna questions the reality around him.]
Mallory.
[All he needs to say is his name and he's sure he's more likely to immediately look than looking away. And when Mallory does look, Luna is already walking closer to him; his steps are careful and slow, giving the other man a chance to run off if he wants to. A much certain he is now than most days, a tiny part of him still hesitates. But, if he feels comfort towards touch, then Mallory would too right? Or, at least possibly understand his intentions, based on their arrangement in the past.]
[It works. His gaze automatically lifts when he hears his name (or not his name, not really, and that makes it all the more bittersweet) and he watches Luna's approach, unmoving. The thought of bolting does occur to him, but he wants to see this through to the very end, whatever that end may be.]
Yeah, Luna...?
[Come on, you don't have to drag this out... Just let it be.]
[Luna has no intention to do so and with that, he closes the distance between them by pulling the other man into a warm embrace. His arms around Mallory is tight as he rests his head on his shoulder.
It certainly isn't the first of hugs, but it's most certainly a significant one in place of words that he can't really express.]
[The second he feels the touch, Mal leans heavily into it like a dog who's been left alone for far too long. Luna's embrace isn't an unfamiliar one anymore, but the mere weeks it's been since the last feels like an eternity. And this is the first time contact has been shared with his feelings out in the open like this, and the intent behind putting his arms around Luna's shoulders in return and holding him firmly.
Whether Luna's feelings are the same or not, Mal can at least be certain from this that it falls under the same umbrella term of love. This should be the happiest moment of his life... and he is overjoyed and immensely relieved, but at the same time he's all too aware of Junko Enoshima's poison running through his veins even now, staining his heart. If he'd just told him sooner... His stomach clenches, the muscles around the internal scarring over it twitching a little.
He has to let go of it. For both their sakes.
So instead of pulling away at the urging of the voice that tells him he doesn't deserve this, he buries his face in Luna's neck and inhales deeply, savouring his warmth, his scent, and his pulse.]
Well this is a lovely scene in every way: the cherry blossoms both on the trees and fluttering in the breeze, the clear blue sky overhead, the first hints of greenery appearing everywhere. It's like something out of a shoujo manga, just like Peony used to read when she'd been a young girl; everything is set up to frame the happy couple in some completely perfect snapshot of romance.
A proper happily ever after.
She's glad that she'd seen the embrace before she'd followed her instinct to call out to them; she would have hated to have ruined this. Something in her chest twists hard, burning worse than when she'd stabbed herself, and when she blinks, the entire scene blurs. No! She wants to be able to remember this properly -- the two of them happy and leaning on each other -- as both talisman and warning.
This is the right ending. This is what was supposed to have happened. Maybe, if she hadn't been selfish and let things go the way they should have, they could have avoided all of this. And now that things have resolved themselves properly, the last thing she wants to do is interfere with that. She's done enough.
So she lingers a few more seconds, just to try and burn that into her mind (remember them this way, remember that the next time you start getting greedy for the things you don't deserve), then turns and hurries off as quietly as she can. ]
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no subject
Do you really think I'd be turned over so easily when alcohol is involved?
[Don't answer that, he still recalls the incredible taste of the drinks the Shojo spirits had, practically nothing can compare to that. While the edges of the memory are blurry, Luna has never really forgotten the quiet and content moment they shared as the sun set that day. The way the light angles and accentuate Mallory's strong features though simultaneously make him seem softer than how one would expect someone with an imposing figure. As he puts the memory away and focuses back to the present, his gaze drops towards the man leaning on the tree as his smile unconsciously widens.]
It just seemed like one of the things we missed out on. But now, [He closes his eye,] on a good day, we can make up for lost time.
[Judge him for being sentimental, he's pretty well aware of it.]
no subject
Missed opportunities and lost time, huh...
He always did have that fantasy back in high school, about making a confession beneath the trees like this. He rubs the back of his neck, casually turning his head as far to the side as he can.]
You know...
[...He's tired of running, of hiding, of pushing away. He wasn't lying when he said as much to Peony. She couldn't have been lying either when she said she thought it would be a good idea to just tell Luna, right?
That pleasant, warm feeling in his heart suddenly turns into the more familiar flutters of panic, but he swallows hard. Maybe getting it over with will finally put an end to that. At least the answer will be confirmed for him.]
...I never did get to admit the first time around that I- have feelings for you.
[He's trying to make it sound as casual as possible, but his voice does come out strained at the end, and as soon as he says it he feels his stomach drop. But he can play it off as a joke if there's even a hint of a negative response. It's fine.]
no subject
However, unlike admirers from afar, this is his long time and closest friend. Those words don't come easy to his mind now, and neither does he want them to.
He can't help but wonder where it all started, the touch of curiosity of wanting every piece of fact and information that he could get his hands on, and that curiosity is just at the tip of his tongue. Despite the burning desire to find the exact information, the reveal doesn't seem too surprising if at all and it's evident from the lack of change in Luna's expression. Somehow... it just seemed like it makes sense. Was it based on how Mallory treated him differently than most of their classmates? Had it been because of how Luna was persistent of helping him make his way as the boxing champion? Or had it been something that happened so gradually that it sneaked up on both of them and it seemed natural since? There was always something about their dynamic that seems so intimate and special that it always compelled Luna to extend and remind Mallory how much he values in through lighthearted banter and joking. It always feels warm and comfortable around him, not unlike how he is around Peony.
The pieces fit together perfectly and more telling since going by their most recent arrangement, it only proves him further how much he feels at ease around Mallory and how much the other man is willing to practically bend over his will for him. How sometimes he's willing to physically bend over in their moments of privacy.
Shit. It all makes sense and it's not Mallory's confession that surprises him-- it's the fact Luna has always been aware of it and reciprocate without him realizing it himself. Good work.]
Thank you. [...] I appreciate your feelings.
['I knew, in a way' or 'for how long? doesn't seem like good choices to pick. At least, not now. He isn't lost for words, however it takes him longer to form words and sentences in his mind than usual.]
I really don't know how I deserve your feelings, more so under these cherry blossoms.
[Also crap. What is he going to say to Peony. What is he going to say both of them that he's been technically playing an affair? Dating both of them? He's a harem man?]
no subject
. . .
The response isn't what he expected, but... he isn't surprised in the least. Mallory swallows and takes a few rapid, shallow breaths, then he lets his head drop with a quiet scoffing noise in the back of his throat.]
...The hell kind of response is that? [Stuffy and formal, even when it comes to this. How very like him. He can't tell if he's smiling, or baring his teeth like a cornered animal.] Damn, you really were popular enough in school to have a scripted rejection ready, huh?
no subject
That wasn't a rejection.
[If that was the case, it would have been easier for him to just pull out some automated response he had come up in the past.]
You must have realize at least somewhat that what we've gone through passed intimacy between friends. [More softly, he adds;] If I really did rejected you, I would have immediately said as much.
[It's not a no, but it's not really entirely a yes either. Three or four simple words to answer back to him, yet it's easier to just string sentences that seem to carry some kind of connotation or hint those words instead.]
no subject
Wasn't a rejection.
Wasn't a rejection.
Mal's head jerks up suddenly, and he stares at Luna with wide eyes, their bright fuchsia brought out all the more by the flushing in his cheeks.]
So... What...?
[What are you saying, just spit it out, he doesn't want to get his hopes up. Luna's always been his hope, but this kind is just needlessly cruel! Like, yeah, maybe they kinda sorta had sex a few times but even Mal knew he was just being a stand-in for Peony. Having even the gentle touches stop the minute she arrived pretty much confirmed that one for him.
Yeah. A rejection. Not a reciprocation. Just an acceptance to let things be as they are, right? Part of him is relieved, but he can't help but want to take everything back and run anyway. How humiliating...
He clears his throat and turns his head away, spreading his arms in an exaggerated shrug.]
Alright, sure. It's still more formal and diplomatic than it probably goes for other people... I hope you didn't pull this on Peony. Ah, well. Glad that's out of the way.
[H A H A H A GET HIM OUT OF HERE]
no subject
That accusation throws him off enough that he briefly looks away as he feels his face heating up. The stark contrast of his normal fine complexion to the blush he's now sporting is pretty staggering. So maybe he said something similar to Peony. Maybe. He's exercising his right to be silent about it.]
It wasn't a rejection. I'm not rejecting you and I have no intention to do so. Not with what we are up to this point and not with the fact what we have done.
[It's sort of funny in a pathetic way how he's normally direct yet he finds it hard to just be upfront with this due to some factors, fumbling due to his emotions being one of them.]
Mallory, I... care about you.
[...]
That's how I confessed to Peony.
[SO YOU GET IT RIGHT.]
no subject
So you were the one who confessed to her...
[He slips his hand into his pocket once more, staring up at the branches overhead. The breeze feels pretty good on his otherwise hot face right now...]
Do you remember the night after my big fight? You know, that whole victory celebration? [THE ONE HE TRIED TO FUCK OFF FROM?] When I asked you about her... Tch. I want to pretend like I would have said something back then if you said you two weren't an item, but I was pretty chickenshit.
[Risking mortal injury in the ring was one thing, but making his heart vulnerable? Terrifying.]
So I lied about not hiding anything from you, even then... [His brow furrows a little.] But you two were-- are happy together, right? I didn't want to get in the way then and I don't now. I just want to protect and support you. So if you're not rejecting me, great, nothing's gotta change. Don't force yourself to pretend it's anything more than that.
[At least he doesn't have to be afraid anymore.]
no subject
He's not certain of anything, his own mind would argue to him.
However, he's certain that he has enough in him to come up with a rebuttal with ease. A clinical and impersonal rebuttal that can seem to simply be spoken for the sake of winning an argument based on a basic objective, instead arguing and defending his heart through his statements while also trying to save Mallory's in the process.
He's also certain that action speaks more volumes than words could ever possibly hold at times. More especially when silence and certain action cannot be explain by words alone. This is one of the things that, no matter what, remains unwavering and firm even when Luna questions the reality around him.]
Mallory.
[All he needs to say is his name and he's sure he's more likely to immediately look than looking away. And when Mallory does look, Luna is already walking closer to him; his steps are careful and slow, giving the other man a chance to run off if he wants to. A much certain he is now than most days, a tiny part of him still hesitates. But, if he feels comfort towards touch, then Mallory would too right? Or, at least possibly understand his intentions, based on their arrangement in the past.]
FINALLY, A SHORT ONE
Yeah, Luna...?
[Come on, you don't have to drag this out... Just let it be.]
AN EVEN SHORTER TAG
It certainly isn't the first of hugs, but it's most certainly a significant one in place of words that he can't really express.]
no subject
Whether Luna's feelings are the same or not, Mal can at least be certain from this that it falls under the same umbrella term of love. This should be the happiest moment of his life... and he is overjoyed and immensely relieved, but at the same time he's all too aware of Junko Enoshima's poison running through his veins even now, staining his heart. If he'd just told him sooner... His stomach clenches, the muscles around the internal scarring over it twitching a little.
He has to let go of it. For both their sakes.
So instead of pulling away at the urging of the voice that tells him he doesn't deserve this, he buries his face in Luna's neck and inhales deeply, savouring his warmth, his scent, and his pulse.]
...Thank you.
[Whatever this is, it is enough.]
no subject
Well this is a lovely scene in every way: the cherry blossoms both on the trees and fluttering in the breeze, the clear blue sky overhead, the first hints of greenery appearing everywhere. It's like something out of a shoujo manga, just like Peony used to read when she'd been a young girl; everything is set up to frame the happy couple in some completely perfect snapshot of romance.
A proper happily ever after.
She's glad that she'd seen the embrace before she'd followed her instinct to call out to them; she would have hated to have ruined this. Something in her chest twists hard, burning worse than when she'd stabbed herself, and when she blinks, the entire scene blurs. No! She wants to be able to remember this properly -- the two of them happy and leaning on each other -- as both talisman and warning.
This is the right ending. This is what was supposed to have happened. Maybe, if she hadn't been selfish and let things go the way they should have, they could have avoided all of this. And now that things have resolved themselves properly, the last thing she wants to do is interfere with that. She's done enough.
So she lingers a few more seconds, just to try and burn that into her mind (remember them this way, remember that the next time you start getting greedy for the things you don't deserve), then turns and hurries off as quietly as she can. ]